What are the rich talking about?

High jewelry = great drama.
Photo: Netflix

For some time now, we’ve been able to peek into the lifestyles of the rich and famous via reality TV. Of Cradles at keeping up with the Kardashians at virtually every show on Bravo we’ve had an sometimes maddening look behind the curtain at how the other half lives, what they eat, what they wear, etc. But Netflix’s latest addition to this category, Empire bling, takes what you think you know about rich people and multiplies it by, give or take, a billion, showing a level of wealth and occasional fortune that is truly astounding.

Starring, among others, an heiress of arms dealers and a descendant of Chinese royalty, Empire bling is lifestyle porn to the nth degree. Whether they’re heading to Paris for dinner or taking a private jet to shop in Vegas, the show’s cast is so incredibly rich that, if we’re perfectly honest, sometimes we don’t even know what. they speak. about. What is “high jewelry”? Who is Shaman Durek? Are there no pills you can take for “Mellerio” now? As such, we’ve taken the liberty of breaking down some of the most ridiculous and confusing moments of a show that just drips with it. Follow me, comrade poor people of reasonable means, we are taking a trip to the other side.

“Are you wearing the…” “The Louis Vuitton necklace in white diamonds and pink sapphire? Yes I am.”

For a named show Empire blingIt’s fitting that the first big drama between the cast members revolves around literal diamonds. The first episode of the series features a dinner hosted by the series’ Grande Dame, billionaire guns, and private defense heiress Anna Shay, where each guest gets their own personal server. While this might seem like the biggest flex of the night, always impeccably styled Christine Chiu shows up to the party with a necklace that Anna also owns. For those of us who immediately think “puka shell” whenever we hear the word “necklace,” we’ll need to adjust our frame of reference a bit to understand why this was so important. As Christine says in her confessional, the necklace she shares with Anna is classified as “high jewelry”. Fine jewelry, according to jeweler Hedda Schupak, looks a lot like pornography: “You can’t define it exactly, but you know it when you see it.” Okay, we’re officially confused but also turned on. “Fine jewelry should contain only the best quality rare gemstones and precious metals, be of distinctive design and exquisite craftsmanship (presumably handmade), possibly from a designer or designer. a renowned jewelry house, ”explains Schupak. In short, this is not your mother’s Tiffany diamond engagement ring. This is not your colleague’s Cartier love bracelet. It’s on a whole new level. This is the real fucking deal.

This specific piece of fine jewelry that Anna and Christine own could stand out even among the finest jewelry locked in a vault under Harrods. This is a white gold and pink sapphire necklace from Louis Vuitton (ever heard of it?) That was featured in a New York 2012 Time profile of the marketing of the haunt of fine jewelry at the former Place Vendôme in Paris. I’ve always said that when a Louis Vuitton jeweler moves in next door, you know the neighborhood has gone to the dogs. While the actual price of the necklace is not disclosed on the show, bespoke jeweler Taylor & Hart estimates Christine and Anna’s necklace each costs well over £ 100,000. So Christine woke up on dinner day, put on this necklace to compete with Anna Shay, and decided to go for violence.

An obsolete item that costs around $ 175.

Shaken but not agitated by the matching £ 100,000 necklace, Anna Shay punishes Christine by moving her to a less desirable section of the dinner table and ignoring her for the rest of the night, which is her right. In the wise words of Countess LuAnn, money cannot buy you a class or a good seat at an Anna Shay dinner. Yet Anna finds in her immense heart to offer Christine and the rest of her guests a Baccarat glass paperweight as a thank you. Although the paperweight is not classified as “fine jewelry,” it sells for as low as $ 175 to $ 1,200, depending on the design. Judging by the number of servers, which indicates that there were at least 20 guests present for dinner, and the design, which looks more like the $ 174 model, by a conservative estimate, Anna Shay lost a lot more. of $ 4000 for party favors. .

Christine, however, was not impressed with the gift. “For my Chinese New Year celebration, Dr. Chiu and I are sponsoring an orphan in China for every guest present,” Chiu says. “Anna gives me a clipboard. When Anna gets bored of playing these childish games, I’d like to show her better uses of her time and resources than rearranging the table seats. Sponsoring a child costs an average of $ 39 per month, according to the Child Fund. For many reasons, it’s impossible to compare Anna and Christine’s thank you gifts. We don’t know how many guests attended Chiu’s Chinese New Year celebration or how long the Chiu family have been committed to sponsoring these children. Was it 20 children or 100? Was it for a month or a year? Either way, what is clear is that giving Baccarat paperweights and sponsoring Chinese orphans are apples and oranges, but one certainly seems to have more of an impact, as a paperweight ( even expensive) is indeed obsolete in modern society. Does anyone even use paper anymore? Does Anna Shay know about email? It is impossible to know.

Anna Shay, refusing to go and / or play the game.

It was the fight for fine jewelry heard all over the world. Christine invites Anna for appetizers (read: fancy appetizers) as a sort of peace offering after NecklaceGate. However, a peace treaty cannot be negotiated between the two jewelers, because they find themselves on both sides of the debate of the Great Parisian House of High Jewelry which sweeps the country: which high jewelry house is the oldest in Paris, Mellerio or Boucheron? Anna is very adamant that Boucheron is the oldest, while Christine is absolutely certain that it is Mellerio (pronounced like “malaria” but with an “o”). In the end, the story seems to have taken Christine’s side on this one. Founded in 1858 by Frédéric Boucheron, Anna Shay’s beloved Boucheron is technically the oldest jewelry workshop in Place Vendôme (remember her!), Located in the 1st arrondissement of Paris. But Mellerio, founded by Mellerio dits Meller, opened just up the block from Place Vendôme, rue de la Paix in 1613. So Christine is right despite her incredibly irritating need to compete with Anna Shay, solidifying their dynamic Margo. Channing – Eve Harrington. While she might have been right about Parisian fashion houses, Christine’s acquaintances end up earning her an embarrassingly late invitation to Anna Shay’s next party, so ultimately the Grande Dame wins again.

Kelly no longer needs a man after tasting the Emsculpt machine.

There is always at least one absolutely raised eyebrow, Über– rich person thing at a Christine Chiu event. It will close Rodeo Drive for a Chinese New Year celebration. She’ll have a Gucci claw machine at Baby G’s first birthday. She’ll pull out a Botox bar at her leather party and haughtily call Anna Shay for enjoying anal sex. But of all the bells and whistles Christine Chiu trots through this season, one of the brightest and most ridiculous items has to be the carving machine she unveils to her and the “#KeepItight” leather party From Dr. Chiu to benefit their surgery company, Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery Inc. While her husband Gabriel Chiu is from a dynastic Chinese family, Christine is said to have been the one who made the dough as she was the director of surgery plastic from Beverly Hills when Dr. Chiu was hired. Christine said Women, “I was making more money than Dr Chiu when we first met!” Okay, boss-girl alert!

The couple have made Beverly Hills plastic surgery a must-see plastic surgery center and medspa, and at the party, Dr. Chiu has attendees test out a state-of-the-art machine that, if you’re playing a special attention, is an Emsculpt machine, designed to lift and tone your abs and buttocks without resorting to surgery. Tight abs, no scars, what’s not to love, right? “You want to position yourself so that the tapping is centered between your perineum and your vajayjay,” Dr. Chiu says to Kelly as she steps onto the Emsculpt, taking great care to use the clinical world for them. genitals of a woman. The results can be positively orgasmic, both literally and figuratively, as Dr. Chiu warns Kelly that the Emsculpt has resulted in several patients having orgasms. If you are planning to get an Emsculpt machine for yourself, it will cost you dearly: there are plenty of versions of the product available for a cool 5K, but if you want the sturdy, high-end machine. that Dr. Chiu has, it’ll net you about $ 150,000, and that’s for a used model. But must a vibrator that sculpt your abs have to be worth it? Get ready to explode your ass in the city of pleasure!

The TET Spirits upload their files to Gwyneth Paltrow’s Spiritual Leader operating system.

Perhaps the richest thing of all, the Empire bling A gang asks a shaman to come and do spiritual readings for them on the beach one evening. But they don’t just get your standard and ordinary shaman. No, no, they had Shaman Durek, Gwyneth Paltrow’s spiritual advisor and the Princess of Norway’s boyfriend, of course. According to his personal website and Instagram page, Shaman Durek, a spiritual bridge, healer and meditator, is a sixth generation shaman who avoids medicine or plants and communicates directly with the spirits themselves. Durek documented this ability in his book Mind hacking and via his podcast Ancient wisdom today. Durek’s mastery of ancient wisdom earned him the coveted role of GOOP’s Spiritual Advisor, though it is unclear how involved Durek was in the advice that led Paltrow to create his explosive vagina candle. Princess Märtha Louise of Norway, fourth to the Norwegian throne, went to Durek for a spiritual reading, and the two have connected on a deeper level and have been dating ever since, recently recounting their love story in a broadcast for Vanity Fair. Fingers crossed that Durek himself will play on the inevitable The crown spin off The Crown: Norway. Until then, if you want Durek to help you connect with your spiritual side, a reading of him costs an average of $ 1,000. It might sound like a pretty penny, but as the saying goes, closer to GOOP, closer to God.

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